My goal this week is to do 5 guided meditations in 5 days. I will be using Tara Brach and attempting to sit up this week as opposed to being nestled into my bed. I end up falling asleep when I lay down which is ok too, but I want the deeper experience of the meditation. So, I will give myself no less than 15 minutes of sitting up, eyes closed and see what happens.
Day 1 Recap
I downloaded an app called Insight Timer and sampled some different guided meditations. I did sit up this time and stayed awake so I made progress.
The first session was 25 minutes with Tara Brach’s “Vipassana (Basic) Meditation”, I was distracted by an itch on my back shoulder blade, I was thinking about work a little a bit, then my son and his dad and what to do about the conflict, I was trying to let go, trying to focus and breathe, just breathe, come back to the breath,..why are my pants so tight at the waist, I am adjusting my yoga pants, now I can breathe yes I am relaxing bringing down my shoulders, relaxing my body, my leg is tingling because it’s numb from sitting with my legs crossed, is this normal, maybe I should be sitting on the floor and not my bed, but I am not laying down, everything is ok stop judging myself, stop judging myself for judging, deep breath and the bell goes off,..I was done but I forgot to meditate.
I straightened my legs, took a deep breath and decided to try another one, Jack Kornfield’s “Breathing Meditation” only 8:43 so I had time to try again, this time I was going to relax and think of nothing but I was already telling myself to think of nothing. I loved the soothing sound of his voice, I was there now. And I made it to the end just by following my breath and paying attention to the flow of air basically and then it was over.
I finished the time with some of “Sacral Chakra Tibetan Singing Bowl” and I laid down and listened to what sounded like rain mixed with beautiful music and I just spaced out for a little bit. I felt better.
“Nachiketa did not ask to get to the end of an imagined journey, but to be fully where he was.” –After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield