I have worked really hard on breaking habits so I feel like somewhat of a professional. So far here is what I’ve learned.
My positive reward 100% has to outweigh the punishment of not getting what I want.
My old habits need to be replaced with a new habits to fill the void.
I need to set goals, –little ones, big ones and way up in the sky ones!
I need to allow for mistakes, setbacks and obstacles.
I need to be excited about the new things I am learning.
It’s a great big world out there and there are so many ways to fill your time. One habit I quit was Facebook and guess what? There are other websites on the internet! I have found other apps to fill my time that don’t send me on an emotional roller coaster of endless searching, judging, and gossipy pathways as Facebook did for me. I would spend an hour looking at people’s pictures, someone’s new life and sometimes I would feel jealous of the facade of happiness, or feel better about myself peering into what seems like a crazy mess of someone’s life and so on. There are healthy ways to be on Facebook, but for me it was not making me feel good. So, I deleted my account and I am happy to be free from it. I replaced that with an app called Duolingo to learn Spanish. You can spend a little bit of time each day learning a new language for free! It’s fun and I find the practice to be a bit like meditation because I am just lost in the new language.
I am also on Instagram where I mostly follow travel, photography, inspirational quotes and some comedians. I feel like these things make me feel good and help to expand my horizons in terms of world sight seeing. I will travel to some of these places in the future, but for now I can only see them through the lens of people all over the world. I also share my pictures of natural landscape.
Another habit I quit was drinking, a much larger beast to tame, but one that has given me more rewards than I ever could have imagined. I replaced drinking with walking and exercise and it’s paying off. I am rounding the base to 40 this year and I want to be in the best shape of my life by November. I am feeling confident that I will get there. I have set little goals of jogging for 1 minute up to where I am now of 17 minutes as my longest jog time. I’m not setting any world records but I am making progress. The positive rewards for getting in shape are long-term so it’s important to set up other rewards for yourself too. I bought a new pair of running shoes at my 90 days without drinking. I link all my goals together sometimes. I can practice Spanish while walking on the treadmill or stretching on the floor.
Meditation is another tool for relaxation that I have used to replace my evening drinking. Here I found an app called Insight Timer that is free also to download to a phone or tablet. This app has thousands of options for guided meditations, sleeping, sound therapy, binural beats, chanting, chimes, bells -whatever your jam this app probably has something you will like. Of course you can go to YouTube or search Google for whatever meditation you seek and it’s there. We have the world at our finger tips now so technology is a good thing.
I watched part of an interview with Dan Rather and Kid Rock of all people. But he was talking about addiction and his battles with it. He said, “I figure if you can’t put something down, then you best not pick that shit up.” And really that statement sums it up. That attachment feeling with anything is a bad habit, so breaking it is probably a good idea.
Rub a small amount of oil, –about the size of a quarter, in your hands. It will melt quickly. Apply the oil on your dry face, don’t add water.
Maybe we are beating a dead horse with this coconut oil craze, but it’s kinda worth the hype if you ask me! I think it’s funny when I tell people I wash my face with this oil and they sort of wince a little like it’s gross to put this pure ingredient on my face and skin. Relative to the big picture of what we put on and in our bodies, it’s ridiculous that this causes people to wrinkle up their noses. Pure coconut oil should be the gold standard for safe skin care. That being said I thought it was super weird to try as a face wash considering I have oily skin to begin with that is prone to breakouts.
BUT, I have read many times that giving your skin the oil it needs will balance things out and it won’t work overtime producing oils that cause the breakouts and blackheads. So, I gave it a try. This routine is more like a ritual that you can take your time with at the end of the day. Give yourself these 10 precious moments and you will be glad you did.
Rub a small amount of oil, –about the size of a quarter, in your hands. It will melt quickly. Apply the oil on your dry face, don’t add water. Take some time here to really massage your face and neck. This will remove your makeup too, so don’t worry about cleaning your face first.
Take a warm wash cloth, as hot as you can stand and lay it on your face over the oil and let the oils soak into your skin. After a few minutes gently wipe the oil off with the wash cloth removing any make-up along the way.
I finish up with an eye cream for overnight.
Just try it, you’ll love it! This whole jar is less than $5 bucks and you can use it to cook too.
My goal this week is to do 5 guided meditations in 5 days. I will be using Tara Brach and attempting to sit up this week as opposed to being nestled into my bed. I end up falling asleep when I lay down which is ok too, but I want the deeper experience of the meditation. So, I will give myself no less than 15 minutes of sitting up, eyes closed and see what happens.
Day 1 Recap
I downloaded an app called Insight Timer and sampled some different guided meditations. I did sit up this time and stayed awake so I made progress.
The first session was 25 minutes with Tara Brach’s “Vipassana (Basic) Meditation”, I was distracted by an itch on my back shoulder blade, I was thinking about work a little a bit, then my son and his dad and what to do about the conflict, I was trying to let go, trying to focus and breathe, just breathe, come back to the breath,..why are my pants so tight at the waist, I am adjusting my yoga pants, now I can breathe yes I am relaxing bringing down my shoulders, relaxing my body, my leg is tingling because it’s numb from sitting with my legs crossed, is this normal, maybe I should be sitting on the floor and not my bed, but I am not laying down, everything is ok stop judging myself, stop judging myself for judging, deep breath and the bell goes off,..I was done but I forgot to meditate.
I straightened my legs, took a deep breath and decided to try another one, Jack Kornfield’s “Breathing Meditation” only 8:43 so I had time to try again, this time I was going to relax and think of nothing but I was already telling myself to think of nothing. I loved the soothing sound of his voice, I was there now. And I made it to the end just by following my breath and paying attention to the flow of air basically and then it was over.
I finished the time with some of “Sacral Chakra Tibetan Singing Bowl” and I laid down and listened to what sounded like rain mixed with beautiful music and I just spaced out for a little bit. I felt better.
“Nachiketa did not ask to get to the end of an imagined journey, but to be fully where he was.” –After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield